Za 1 and only... Za Zilly Z Page

Bezt exzperienzed wiz...
Nerdescape or Macrodot Exploder

... Or ze art of puzhing za 'Z' to za MAX... [Pretty zilly, izn't it?] ;)
... Ozerwize called "The Silly 'Z' Page" for zoze who haven't heard yet... [What?... Where have you been zpending za pazt few dayz, at za Norz Pole or zomezing?!] of ziz new breed of "Zilly Zpelling". :-)

Meep! Meep! I alzo need to make one zing very clear: za 'Z' key iz NOT ztuck on my keyboard, and NO, I didn't fall azleep (duuh!) wiz my head againzt za keyboard eizer, if zat'z what you were zinking!

Meep! Meep! ... You might be wondering by now... what za heck iz gone wrong wiz ziz fella?!...
Za zcoop iz zat I figured out my Home Zite was [Oopz... tiny zilly miztake zere, let me correct zat PRONTO: "waz". Now we can go back to za izzue at hand.] waz kinda boring, zo I dezided to zpice it up a (Mega) bit or two.
... Or zomezing like a good ol' friend uzed to zay: "What, only work and no fun?" [Geez, no "z"-ez in ziz entire phraze, zat'z a zacrilege!]
Undoubtedly our motto HAD to be: "Down wiz all zoze pezky little 's'-ez, long live the Mighty 'Z'!"
'Cauze zey oughtta put a lot of "z"-ez in every zpoken word, zo we can communicate properly [Do U feel zome kinda draft in here?]

Me ... Oh yeah, and by za way, excuze za (de)faulty zpelling... NOT!
Now zat we cleared zat one up [or down, or anywhere elze you like], you'll have to let me quote ziz cool poem zent in by ziz great guy [he'z too modezt, but he really haz zome talent for ziz ztuff].
Oh, I'm zorry, you don't know him yet, he HAD to be appointed az ZA Jr. Vyze Prezzident of Za "Zilly Zpelling Corp.", for hiz tremendouz life-time achievementz in 'Z' Language, and we juzt recommended him for za Nobel Prize. [Finally, one word zat IZ zpelled right!] Good job, Ojatex!

Hope you guyz out zere will get to like hiz "Rhythm & Rhyme" az much az I did. And only IF you like it, you might want to try hiz cool Money Tips Home Page, but you may do zat ONLY AFTER you're done reading HERE... [and zat'z not funny, OK !?]

  1. Here goez za promized "Silly Ode"... a revolutionary "formula" of unique "Z Poetry": [have fun!]

    Subj: Oh say can you Zee
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216
    Download: Stuck KeyZ... KeyZ

    Broken S
    Broke my S
    {Silly Odes in Many Modes}

    It's my best guess
    That Axcel broke his S.
    Now all you will see
    Is the letter Z.
    'Cause you know very well
    That he knows how to spell.
    Will this become the rage
    On every web page?
    Your Spell-checker will choke
    On this maverick key stroke.
    Just download the attached
    It's a present that I've patched
    from discarded Macs.
    So now you know the facts!
    It's time to go forward
    With this recycled keyboard.
    Well it's a certain bet
    That Axcel will come to regret
    Praising my poems so dumb
    He will sure grow very glum.
    'Cause I got a million you see
    That will soon drive him craZy!

    Regards, Ojatex

  2. ... And now, back by popular demand (population iz 1, and rizing...), onze again, Za Great Ojatex: "Silly 'Z' Part Deux!?":

    Subj: Browser Blues
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    Browser Blues
    Hi Axcel216,

    Your joke with the letter Z
    Is what engendered my poetry.
    I liked it very much
    It gives your page a touch
    Of whimsy that we strive
    To keep our funny bone alive.
    It is a certain guess
    There's no poems for the IRS.
    So now there's something new
    Axcel has fallen for the U.
    He's abandoned Y and O
    How far will this joke go?
    Watch out dear alphabet
    Axcel is not thru yet!

    Rock on. Ojatex

  3. ... Zree'z alwayz a charm, zo here it iz... at lazt (but I'm afraid you haven't zeen za lazt of zeeze...): Ojatex'z hotezt (out of ze oven I mean) "Balade in Z Major":

    Subj: Z Page is a Rage
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    Z Page Rage
    LOL to the 10th Power

    The Z page I adore
    A 10 is its score
    I can't take no more
    Just laughed 'til I'm sore.
    Like Eastwood would say:
    It makes my day.
    It's perfect this way
    Like a hit play.
    My poem will not rust
    & mold into dust.
    I'm so proud I could bust.
    In Axcel we trust.

    Cordially, Ojatex...
    A million thanks
    for your pranks.

  4. ... You know what?... Our newly elected Jr. CEO, Zir Ojatex, jumpz up really fazt in our zuccezzful Zilly Zpelling Corp. hierarchy corporate ladder, and I zuzpect him of trying to take my place already (don't you?).
    Zo lizten to ziz one, folkz: "Up on The 'Z' Ladder", by yourz truly, Ojatex:

    Subj: California Plague
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    California Schemin'
    The rest of us are screamin'

    The Z-Page I tried to see
    But it happened again to me.
    Every night at almost nine
    California goes Online.
    With their Pentiums on fire
    They knock us off the wire.
    Now this is no funny joke
    We're just poor rural folk.
    It goes on all the time.
    The other Forty Nine
    Must sit in a slow burn
    As Californians take their turn.
    The Web they over-run
    As they have their online fun.
    With their Modems all ablaze
    The Internet has gone acraze.
    But we will get even yet
    Cause it's an odds on bet
    When their earthquakes come
    Eastward they will run.
    But the borders we will block
    And start up our Winsock.
    Fellow Surfers take this to heart
    For what I now impart
    In our united devotion
    We will push them in the ocean.
    They can keep their fancy cars
    AOL is finally ours.

    Regards, Ojatex

  5. ... Za zun waz not up yet all za way ziz morning, and what do you zink? Our very own, Zir Ojatex, Jr. CEO of za mozt zuccezzful enterprize of our timez (I'm talking about "Za Zilly Zpelling Corp." of courze, in caze you didn't get za picture yet), wantz to demonztrate to all of you, prezent here, zat he iz really a truzful, devoted employee of our conztantly growing corporazion, and to prove it, he zent uz ziz poem, (and hiz poetry iz getting better and better every day), for everybody'z reading pleazure. Zo, hear ye, hear ye, Zir Ojatex haz za word (but you are NOT allowed to applauze): "The Devotion Personified":

    Subj: Corporate Ladder
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    California Plague
    A Palace Coup?
    It Just Ain't True

    Now that I'm a jr. CEO
    There's a few things you should know.
    A raise in pay I need
    If I am to succeed.
    Stock options would be Okay
    'Cause the Z company is on its way
    To making lots of dough
    We're really on the go.
    With Axcel as our boss
    We'll never post a loss.
    It's bucks we hold so dear
    To Profit give a cheer.
    It's Money that I love
    To debt I give the shove.
    More assets we will amass
    Expenses are just trash.
    There is one more request
    So I can be my best.
    It's the Treasurers job I desire
    I will set the books on fire.
    I will cook them 'til they're done
    And then Control I've won.
    Axcel can head title keep
    But soon I'll make him weep
    And this is no mistake
    All the dough I'll surely take.
    Embezzlement is my thing
    It's makes this miser sing.
    I love you dear old Money
    You are my favourite honey.
    Will Axcel soon go broke?
    Dear surfer this is no joke!
    Save him from the coot
    And give Ojatex the boot.

    Regards, Ojatex
    P.S. Watch you Wallet!

  6. ... Now, now, Mr. Ojatez, lookz like you're finally coming to your zenzez. It took a public note to get you back on za boat, huh?
    ... Zo you know who'z za bozz around here.
    And now let'z zee your humble apology.
    I'm in a good mood today, zo I guezz I'll ztill keep you around for a while, cuz you're zo handy wiz zoze verzez. But it'z time to let Zir Ojatex zpeak (while he'z ztill holding za dezired Jr. CEO pozition, but only till I'll find zomebody who really carez about za good of za company): "The Freshly Reformed, Almost Lost Son":

    Subj: House Cleaning
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    Pink Slips

    Have you become aware
    The Boss is on a tear?
    There are some traitors about
    And he will route them out.
    Axcel has got our number
    We better run for cover.
    This Z stuff causes ripples
    Not everyone it tickles.
    It's time to mend our ways
    We've wasted many days.
    Our jobs are on the line
    Our work is not so fine.
    We've spent our time in play
    Now the Piper we must pay.
    Really I'm not just jokin'
    The rules must not be broken.
    The times are turning rough
    Hang in there -it's getting tough.
    And you wanted a promotion?
    Ha! you're headed for demotion.
    You'll soon be filing E-Mail
    In Axcel's computer jail.
    The word's all over town
    Ojatex is going down.
    "Please Boss one more chance."
    I'll swear off the Z-Rock dance.

    Your Obediant Servant,
    Ojatex (Reformed & Repentant)

  7. To demonztrate onze again zat he'z worzy of our infinite truzt, Zir Ojatex, reformed Jr. CEO, prezented me wiz hiz idea of a new motto for our beloved company, "Zilly Zpelling Corp.".
    I dedicated ziz matter of tremendouz importanze a great deal of time (almozt 3 zecondz, az I recall), and I dezided to keep ze old motto, after careful deliberationz and a general voting zezzion, but I am zorry to zay zey all voted againzt (I couldn't vote againzt myzelf, zo I voted in favor, zince I am ze only auzhorized perzon wiz za right to vote in ziz fair enterprize of ourz).
    But I'm going to "try" to be "zquare" wiz Zir Ojatex'z effortz looking after our company's bezt interezt, and let you guyz dezide if ziz iz really meant to be our new "Motto... [NOT!]":

    "To Z or Not to Z [sayeth Hamlet on LSD]"

  8. ... We ought to have our employeez tezted for illegal drug uze more often, don't you zink?!: "Long Live LSD!":

    Subj: New Motto
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    For goodness sake
    Give the guy a break
    Hamlet's got gentility
    Even on LSD.


  9. ... Fruztrated Zir Ojatex inziztz on claiming hiz "Zhakezpearian" mizquote iz bezt zuited az our company'z preciouz Motto (and we were zeriouzly conzidering giving Zir Ojatex za right to vote in our company).
    Oh well, we'll have to reevaluate ziz cruzial dezizion, lookz like we mizjudged Zir Ojatex'z devozion toward our corporazion'z welfare): "I want My Silly M[TV]otto!":

    Subj: New Motto II
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216


    Of course I vote for Hamlet
    But you won't count my ballot
    The Boss always gets his way
    We minions have no say.


  10. Zir Ojatex almozt zertain had a better offer from za competition (now zat hiz zo-called "motto" waz rejected), and wantz to bail out. Of courze our prozperouz "Zilly Zpelling" enterprize will zurvive any evil attackz enviouz competition will zrow at uz ('cauze zuccezz iz not for everyone, ya know).
    Here I zubmit to you Zir Ojatex'z "Panic in The Upper Ranks!" latezt epiztole:

    Subj: Bankruptcy Court?
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    Liquidity Crises

    Have you heard the latest stink?
    Guess who made the clink!
    From the auditor's report
    The books came up quite short.
    It's the same old sad song
    The profits are all gone.
    The cash went out the door
    And Axcel is quite sore.
    Is Chapter Eleven our fate?
    This company was so great.
    A Three Eighty Six you'll share
    The bank account's gone bare.
    That MMX machine?
    Is just a distant dream.
    That new Gateway for which you fell?
    You'll get a recycled Packard Bell.
    The coloured printer's gone blank
    There's no more ink for the tank.
    And those free floppies that we get
    Must be erased for our data-set.
    The company paid lunch is out
    Farewell expense account.
    We have to save the Boss
    Or we will be back in DOS.
    Maybe new stock we can sell
    To avoid the fiscal death knell.
    New Equity we need
    In order to suceed.
    See if your broker's home
    And get him on the phone.
    Get all the change that's spare
    Just buy a corporate share.
    And the coffers we will fill
    There'll be money in Axcel's til.
    He's on the comeback trail
    While Ojatex sits in jail.
    Pleading by E-mail
    For help with making bail.

    Locked Up, Ojatex | [#288077159]

  11. ... Even if we would have clozed our eyez and have not tezted our emplyeez for drugz lazt monz, za Fedz are not zo forgiving. Poor Ojatex managed to get locked up ziz time (and I keep repeating ziz: drugz are not good for your healz!): "Ojatex's Diary from Alcatraz":

    Subj: A Trip to Europe
    From: Ojatex
    To: AXCEL216

    From Jail
    AXCEL216, P.I.

    Although it's a little known truth
    Axcel is a Super Sleuth.
    He uncovers clever fakes
    And Secret Codes he breaks.
    So it shouldn't be too long
    'Til he finds where the cash has gone.
    He could smell a dirty rat
    So he put on his Sherlock hat.
    When his old hard drive did crash
    He rescued it from the trash.
    A virus had brought it down
    Sent by that Ojatex clown.
    With Axcel's computer tricks
    The clusters he would fix.
    Although it took a while
    He found the secret file.
    A sickness it had spread
    To make his computer dead.
    He would make it very sure
    To find the proper cure.
    Now all is as it should
    The drive is running good.
    Something else was discovered
    When the virus was uncovered.
    Strange numbers lying around
    Was the clue that Axcel found.
    What did these digits mean?
    Were they part of Ojatex's scheme?
    Axcel worked very late
    Then checked the file's date.
    It was made just before
    Ojatex had robbed the store.
    Then to Zurich the thief had gone
    And did his deed's so wrong.
    The numbers hold the key
    To where the cash may be.
    Then Axcel did exclaim
    "I know your crooked game.
    You dirty rotten lout
    It's a Swiss Bank Account!"
    My missing cash is there
    I'll need to raise air fare.
    I'll hock my Pentium chip
    Then take a little trip.
    This may take some time
    I'll have to go Offline.
    Maybe it's just as well
    I'm in debt to AOL.
    Mr. Case can you please wait?
    My payments have been late.
    To Switzerland I'll go
    And get my missing dough.

    {Meanwhile Ojatex sits in jail
    No one will pay the bail
    He will take it on the lam
    He's got a brand new scam.
    Just what has he got?
    It is a fiendish plot.
    To smash Axcel's new Hard-Drive
    It's the latest thing alive.
    So Ojatex takes a vow
    To the Boss he will not cow.
    That 5 gig Megabyte wonder
    He will render it asunder
    And make old Axcel wail
    The new plot must not fail.
    From that Evil mind
    The plan does now unwind
    When the Boss is leaving town
    His computer will go down.
    Will Ojatex this time prevail
    In this nefarious tale?}




Good vs Evil
EXTREME CAUTION: We want to make this page interactive. So if you'd like to have your own original funny stories, poetry, pics posted here, especially if you have ideas, and/or want to take sides in this "never ending Axcel216 ←•→ Ojatex dispute of Good versus Evil", we urge you to e-mail your creations, comments, suggestions to AXCEL216, and we'll consider publishing your work, if suited for this page purpose.
NOTE: Author copyrights will be strictly kept for all posted materials.

... Zat'z it for now. Ze END.
More 2 come, zo ztay tuned...